If you’re one of those people who think that being alone = lonely, this isn’t the place for you. Take it from me, I know it can be daunting, but it’s such an incredible thing. I’ve never felt so self-assured as I have been able to spend quality time on my own. If you’re looking for inspiration, here’s how to enjoy your own company from someone who’s been working on it for 15+ years!
MY BACKSTORY
I grew up as an only child, so I’ve always been fiercely independent and used to being on my own. Even as I got older, I still preferred my own company. In school, college and university, I found it easier to study alone. As I got into full adulthood, I found myself going on solo dates in town for a few hours. Before Covid, I started going further afield and overnight on my own and loved it. Sure, it would be nice to share the costs sometimes, but I like being on my own schedule! Solo travel can get expensive though!
START SMALL
There’s no point in deciding that the first time you do something solo is travelling across the world for a month-long holiday. Hey, if you’re an adrenaline seeker, go for it, though! For 99% of those looking to enjoy their own company more, I’d recommend doing something much smaller. Take yourself out for a coffee. Instead of getting it to go, sit in for a while and read a book. I’m often working from coffee shops as it’s a nice change of scenery too.
I always think a great solo activity to do is going to the cinema or the theatre on your own. It’s not like you can talk to anyone whilst the film/show is on, so it really doesn’t matter. Once you get over the initial stares that often happen (usually teenagers and OAPs, millennials don’t care), you can enjoy your time in peace and quiet. I travel for theatre all the time and often get chatting to those next to me during the interval.
FIND A HOBBY OR REDISCOVER AN OLD ONE
I’m loving the rise in hobby content that I keep seeing online, but you can just enjoy them for fun! Whether you want to get back into reading, join a dance class or start scrapbooking, hobbies are a great way to spend time alone. Some hobbies obviously mean being around other people, such as sports or fitness, but you’re still attending alone. Other hobbies are 100% a solo activity, but you could always invite friends for a scrapbooking party! However, if you do something you love, it’s so much easier to do solo. For example, blogging, theatre, reading, and planning/scrapbooking are all solo hobbies for me, but I’m okay having a companion for most of them!
GET TO KNOW YOURSELF THROUGH JOURNALING
If you’re really stuck for ideas of how to enjoy your own company, I recommend journaling your thoughts and feelings first. Figure out why you’ve not done things alone previously, and what’s stopping you now. Maybe you could write down a bucket list of solo activities you want to try and tick them off as you go. Try something easy first and build up to something bigger. You could sit down and do morning pages every day, or turn it into a weekly hobby from a coffee shop as a solo date!
PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN
This isn’t a necessity, but I love to be fully present on solo dates, which means less screen time. It especially applies when I’m out of town somewhere on a day trip, as I like to explore where I am. Sure, I have to pick up my phone sometimes, but I’m doing so for a reason, usually. Putting your phone down means you can fully take in your surroundings, and who doesn’t love a cheeky people-watching session?
MAKE A PLAN WITH YOURSELF + SCHEDULE IT
The easiest way to stick to solo activities is to make a plan for them and schedule some time for it. Maybe you finish early on Fridays and often don’t have other plans for those couple of hours? Perhaps you want to make the most of your Sunday mornings? Taking yourself out for coffee and doing the food shopping both count as solo activities, so it’s a great way to be productive but treat yourself too. Whether you can commit to weekly, monthly or even quarterly solo dates, it’s totally okay. Making the commitment of putting it in your diary/on your calendar means you’re most likely going to stick to it.
FIND A MIXTURE OF INDOOR + OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES
Whilst I am definitely a hermit, I try to get in solo company both at home and outside. It’s important to get fresh air and see other faces, too! Most of my solo activities involve going on day trips out of town. I also love a mooch around my local city, Hull, on a weekday morning (it tends to be quieter). Being self-employed definitely helps with the flexibility of being able to go out whenever, but it’s all about picking the pockets of time you have. Lots of hobbies during spring/summer can be done outside. You could head to your local park for some quiet, solo time, too.
Solo dates and activities are completely personal, so try what you want to. Sure, there are tonnes of inspiration for hobbies online, but don’t do something just because your favourite influencer says you should do it. With hobbies, especially, it can be trial and error until you find something you really enjoy, though, so I try to stick with them for a couple of months first.
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