PERSONAL | SUNDAY SERIES: HANGING ON
Welcome to the very first post in my brand new Sunday series. I’ll be posting every Sunday (obvs) with just my general thoughts for the week and what I’ve been up to. Some may be just more like a brain-dump, some might be more of a personal, reflective post. I’ve been saying I wanted to switch up my content so more personal posts is just an idea!
This week I returned to Sheffield after spending Easter at home in Hull. I was also meant to be starting a new job this week but the process of background checks is extensive meaning my start date isn’t until tomorrow! With only two weeks left at uni timetabled, my time will be once again limited. How am I meant to fit everything in? Does anyone else get the feeling that they’re literally hanging on my thread? When you’re clinging on before you completely erupt? This is me right now.
Moving to Sheffield in September was the biggest step I’ve ever taken. I was proud of myself for starting a Masters degree but now we’re nearing the end of it, I feel like I’ve had enough. Enough of uni, certainly enough of shift work but more importantly, enough of being treat like a child when I’m an adult.
I’m trying to balance so much stuff that something has to give soon. I’m trying to get to uni, do my assignments/revision, go to my retail job, keep up with my blog and freelance work and visit friends/family. It just never stops. Even when I go home for a few days, I’m constantly working. If I’m not, I feel guilty.
Prioritising just isn’t an option. I have to go to uni and do my assignments or I’ll fail. I have to go to work or else I won’t have any money to live on. I have to keep blogging and writing or my journalism career will go up in smoke. But then I have to have a break sometimes so visiting home for a couple of days should be that. It just feels like the days are getting shorter and I’m getting nothing done.
Sometimes when it all gets too much, I almost have a breakdown. I stay in my room, stick on a box set and hope my troubles will all just go away. They don’t; having a day off means I’ve either called in sick at work, not gone into uni or I’ve got one less day to get my assignments and freelance work. Then it’s a vicious cycle because I get even more stressed.
It’s time for change. I’ve just had three weeks off work and feel like I have actually accomplished something with my time. When I got back after Easter, I had five days to get myself together before uni/work starts all over again. I’ve cleaned my flat from top to bottom, decluttered my flat also, started my assignments, slotted in some revision every day, written lots of blog posts and freelance articles. Maybe I am getting on top of things finally. I’ll never be one of those bloggers that can be three months in front with their posts. I’m the type of blogger who just gets an idea and the post goes live that week. Even if I can just get a week ahead, that would be a bonus.