Why does the future have to be such a scary place? Yes, it’s also super exciting but it’s so terrifying too. It’s so weird but right now, I’m in a state of limbo. I’ve just finished my final exam and I’ve literally no idea about what I’m doing next. I mean, I have my journalism project to do to complete my Master’s degree but that’s not due until September. But then what? I have my part-time job (where I’ll be able to get overtime if I want it) and I have my rent paid up until I have to move out in September; however, it’s from that point on that I’m pretty much stuck.

I’ve been applying for tonnes of job (I’m not exaggerating, I’ve literally applied for hundreds) and I’ve heard back from a few but not managed to snag a role just yet. I’ve moved back to my Post Office job, which is great pay but it’s definitely not something I want to do forever. I really don’t want to move home but on the other hand, I really do. I need to start saving up my money again and the only way to do that is by cutting my spending and living at home. The issue with moving home means that I won’t have a source of income initially.

Will I lose my independence if I do move back home? I’m an only child so I’m lucky that my parents have always let me be my own person as long as they knew where I was going and who I was with. To start with, my first big purchase has to be a car. We live in the middle of the countryside with just 13 buses a day total (to and from town) and they’re not exactly cheap or convenient.

I’d really love to go out on a limb and start freelancing properly. I’ve been doing so for a couple of years, writing articles for various websites but all of this has been unpaid and voluntary. I doubt any of these sites will be able to pay me so what do I do next? How do I build on my skills and create a client base? If anyone has any blog posts about it, tips to help me out or could offer me some advice, please do! I need all the help I can get!

I do want to end up in sports journalism, preferably rugby league, but it’s looking like that might not happen. The jobs I’ve been applying for are all under the general marketing/media umbrella. My undergrad degree is in Marketing so I’m not going too far out of left field but I’m not sure if it would be right for me. My main love is writing and to be paid for it would be a dream. That’s why I’ve been looking into content and copywriting. This could be something I could be really great at if given a chance!

I’m unsure what the future holds for me. Maybe I’ll be stuck in retail forever, maybe I’ll end up writing for a marketing agency, maybe I’ll work in a rugby club’s media department or reporting on the sidelines. All this uncertainty scares me. I’m a planner, I like to know what I’m doing and when I’m doing it. Becoming self-employed would only enhance that so would I end up needing job security first before turning freelance fully?

I did like having a routine of going to work 9-5 or similar hours and then spending the night at home, working on my blog or writing gigs. It liked having two seperate lives but I’m not sure going back into retail is the best option. Shift work makes it so difficult to organise your time, especially when they used to change my shifts at last minute constantly.

I know I have until September officially to think about all of this but with me applying for so many jobs all over the country, I have to be prepared to move at any time! For an introvert like myself, that part is particularly daunting!

Has anyone else gone through or is currently going through this feeling before? Post-grad difficulties? Freelance troubles? Leave me a comment below please; I’d love to hear your experiences!